Remembering a Son, Reflecting on a Country United

Marilyn and Dennis Weaver will lay a wreath at the Veterans Memorial in Bitzer Park Saturday, and it's hard to say what will be going through their minds just before the 10th anniversary of 9/11 — a day on which nearly 3,000 Americans, including their son Todd, lost their lives.

The North Canton couple talked with North Canton Patch recently about and coping with the loss of a loved one. They gave their insight into Sept. 11, 2001 —  when terrorists hijacked four airplanes that crashed in Washington, D.C.; Shanksville, PA; and into the World Trade Center in New York City, where Todd worked.

Their thoughts Saturday won't veer toward hatred or bitterness; rather, they'll think about the unity America experienced after the 9/11 attacks.

"The whole nation … we were all hurting. Everybody was hurting. And they wanted to be a part of something. They wanted to feel the warmth and the love," Dennis Weaver said.

And they remember that to this day and subscribe to the belief that leaving the hatred and bitterness out of it is the only way.

"The one thing Marilyn and I had decided from the very beginning, as tragic as this was, we're not going to become bitter old people. We knew that was the one thing that we didn't want," Dennis said. "We didn't want to repel people one way or another. ... We knew that wasn't the answer."

Todd Weaver

Todd Weaver had just gotten his master's degree from the University of Chicago nine months before 9/11. He had landed "his dream job in his dream city," Dennis said. He was vice president of Fiduciary Trust International, heading their entire hedge fund group at just 30 years old.

John Ellwood, chairman of J.H. Ellwood and Associates, a Chicago investment company where Weaver worked from 1998 to 2000, described Todd as a "marvelous guy" on the Voices of Sept. 11 website.

He said he was a "rising star" and the youngest senior consultant they had ever had.

On Voices of Sept. 11, Marilyn describes Todd as a caring and ambitious man with a sharp mind and a dry sense of humor.

Todd had lived with his wife, Amy, in a condo in the upper west side of Manhattan and worked on the 94th floor of the World Trade Center.

His colleagues were in California for a meeting on 9/11, and Todd had been asked to stay back and look after the office. He was in the building as the second plane hit just below his floor.

Todd had called his wife and a fraternity brother before the second plane hit, telling his friend he wanted to find a way out of the building.

"We don't know what happened after that," Marilyn said.

After 9/11 and New York City's response

Todd's family members left for New York City that day and came together on Sept. 12.

"We kind of sat for two or three days trying to figure out was he still alive, what was going on …" Dennis said. "And finally we just decided we needed to come home." 

Responders ended up finding some remains, Todd's wallet and his wedding ring, the couple said.

What consoled the family initially was the warm reception they received in New York and the lengths to which the city's first responders went to assist them.

The family traveled back on Sept. 29 for a memorial service hosted by Amy Weaver. They decided to see the site again as a family and were again welcomed by the New York workers, including a battalion chief and two police detectives.

The group, holding their flowers and a note, hit a standstill when they came to the roped-off area of Ground Zero, but the battalion chief helped them find their way into the area.

"He got two detectives and he said, 'Take these four people down to the site and show them everything and anything they want to see. And just stay with them and make sure they're safe, and let them stay as long as they want,'" Dennis recalled. 

"It was very gratifying. The two police officers were like angels to us at that point."

Strangers' support

It wasn't easy to digest what they saw at Ground Zero. The family couldn't believe what used to be two 1,400-foot-tall buildings were now reduced to nothing.

"We said, 'Where were the buildings?' and (the detectives) said 'Right there, right in front of you.' And there was nothing there. It was just rubble," Dennis said.

The officers suggested the family instead go to a church to lay their flowers and note.

Once at the church, they were taken aback again by the kindness of a minister who offered to say the last rites for Todd and asked when his service would be. (It was planned for the next day at 11 a.m.)

"She said, 'Tomorrow at exactly 11 o'clock I will walk back down to building two and I will again do the last rites for Todd and all the victims of 9/11 — exactly the same time you're having your service,'" Dennis said.

An embracing community

The couple remembered back to Todd's service in North Canton in which family, friends and neighbors packed , which would be at capacity with 350 people.

"In little old North Canton, over 500 people came to say goodbye to Todd — and all the victims," Dennis said.

Since then, Dennis makes a trip each year to see Todd's fraternity brothers. He remembers the first time he met the group after Todd's death.

"I went there thinking these guys were going to console me and hug me and comfort me. That's what I really went there thinking. And lo and behold, I found out that they were there for me to comfort them. And all of a sudden I had 10 or 15 new sons."

Marilyn and Dennis did everything they could, including seeing a grief counselor, to cope with the loss of their son, they said.

"We walked. We tried to do everything to keep our health because that can really tear you down," Marilyn said.

Dennis added, "I think what helped most, though, was the support we got from the church and from the community and our friends."

Since Todd's death, the family's church has dedicated a flagpole to him. There's also a stone at and a tree near , the couple said.

Thinking ahead to Saturday, the couple said they may address the participants in the city's 9/11 commemoration.

"What we're going to do is just thank the city and the community for its support then and even today," Dennis said.